Having cancer changes just about everything. Some in a good way. Some, well... not so much. Here is a great summarization of how things look from this side of the fence. I couldn't have said it any better, so just click the link to read "12 Hard Truths About Having Cancer".
Sometimes I wonder why, even when something great happens in my life, I have a hard time accepting the happiness that should come along with it. I realize that I wasn't like this before I had cancer the first time. I remember being able to have fun without getting bogged down in the "what if" of the uncertainty of life. I can't say it's because I'm getting older and, therefore, my mortality is more relevant. I'm only 43. That's too young to be so worried about whether I will make it to 50. Then I realize there's this floating around in my brain constantly:
I try like hell to just not think about it. I try to keep my mind busy enough that there's no room for it. I guess it's just part of who I am now. Occasionally I have a day where I live unfettered by the possibility of what could be happening in my body. Those are the really good days where I feel normal.
In lieu of feeling normal, I have chosen to live a purposeful life to the very best of my ability. Part of my purpose is to bring a higher awareness of oral cancer and also to do something to make the treatment and healing process a little easier for the patients.
For more information about oral cancer please check out these links:
Facts About Oral Cancer
What is Oral and Nasopharyngeal Cancer?
Now I get it. Everyone was groaning and complaining about this whole insurance situation our country is in. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. Husband is self-employed, the tax credit is great, the coverage was as good as I ever had even in my previous corporate life. You people are just complaining to hear yourself talk. Then it happened. We decided husband should get a job so he could have some type of retirement plan. Smart, right? Except now he's eligible for insurance.
Three plans available with $10,000, $7,500 o5 $2,500 deductibles. It's like voting. You're forced to choose the lesser of two evils. Any cancer patients or survivors or anyone who has any other serious or chronic illness will understand the quandary. The high deductible has the lower premium but I could easily blow through $10,000 of healthcare in one month. I do not have $10,000 to shell out in one month. The $2,500 plan premium is astronomical. By astronomical I am referring to a premium higher than I paid for COBRA when I was sick. The plans are all considered "affordable" according to the magic formula. I'm not sure how they consider over 1/4 of a persons net pay affordable. I mean, I understand the math but not the logic. According to all I've learned from multiple phone calls, we are required to take the employer provided insurance.
So to anyone who complained about the Affordable Care Act and I responded in a less than compassionate manner, I do apologize. There have only been 6 months in my entire life that I was uninsured. I could never comprehend how someone could be WITHOUT insurance. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way. And please, if anyone knows something I don't or if I'm misunderstanding something, please let me know.
The waiting really is the hardest part.
Tickets for our first big fundraiser, 1st Annual Rockabilly Prom, went on sale yesterday. I'm not checking sales until Sunday. On one hand, the anticipation is killing me. On the other hand, I'm afraid to look because of the off chance no tickets get sold. Eeeeek!!!!
However, I have faith that a) people will be interested in supporting a good cause, b) need something different to do on Valentine's Day or c) really love to dance. Or all 3!!!
Wait for it... Wait for it...